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No one really knows what to do for me for Mother’s Day. This year….feels so empty. This year….feels so different. I want a good book. A good hug. An oversized glass of JaM Cellars Butter Chardonnay! I want to forget that last year was the last Mother’s Day I spent with my Mom.
My Mom had been so excited, her boyfriend was going to take all of us, Mom, my family, and my sister and brother in law out to dinner to celebrate Mother’s Day. Mom didn’t make it. She told us to go without her. She didn’t feel well. That night after dinner, I took her to the emergency room. That night, we cried, laughed, and swelled up on sodium induced vending machine foods and drinks! She told me how proud she was of me. I had managed to survive two and a half years with my son and not lose my mind. She didn’t want to be alone. Hospitals scared her. I stayed.
We always had silly traditions since I was young. When she was in labor with me, a Nun smuggled her in a beverage and candy, so I did just that, every single birthday of mine. Brought her those goodies. To thank her for keeping me and not putting me up for adoption! It may seem silly to other people but to us, it was tradition.
JaM Cellars is made in the tradition of great California winemaking—rich, bold and luscious. Remind you of anyone? Me perhaps? I always love to find the highlights of life and know that my Mom would have loved to join me for another glass and toasting to all our silly goof ups in parenting. It was a year ago that we were sharing Butter Chardonnay while stepping over toddler toys, trying to figure out how to organize my son’s room so she could move in with us.
I would joke and say I am easy to love but honestly it’s so much easier to fall in love with JaM Cellars products! Easy to love, everyday wine, and best Chardonnay under $20 so you can grab it to toast with any day, and celebrate any milestone, special occasion, or holiday! Affordable for gift giving as well!
My Mom would be so proud, my sister gave birth to twins this week. I’m the proud Auntie of a little boy and girl who will truly never know how awesome their Grandmother was (She would have had them call her Nana). My son still talks about his Nana all the time. She never wanted to be classified as the best mom. Just the okayest. So for Christmas 2016, I got her a shirt that said “World’s Okayest Mom”. I now have that shirt as a pillow in my office.
Being an OK Mom and not a perfect Mom is something to be proud of. Being a Mom is hard but rewarding. Being a Mom, without your Mom in your life sucks, but knowing you are striving to make her proud is a great feeling. That is something you can have a toast to! Mother’s Day can be a joyous celebration of life while celebrating those who can no longer be with you.
This particular photo is something that my Grandmother left with me this past year as she had to downsize her personal belongings. It was a gift from my Mom to her in 1990. The little things like spelling memories as “memorys” makes me smile. That was my Mom. Maybe she was not great at spelling but she was great as being heartfelt and showing those she loved, she cared!
As I reflect on losing my Mom, I also have to take a moment to reflect on the unborn child we lost this year. I won’t let the fact that I will never meet that child muddle my Mother’s Day. I still have a vibrant and brilliant three year old boy who lights up my life! He may be the reason I hide in the office with a glass of Butter some days, but he’s mine and I’m proud to be HIS Mom!
Not a day goes by that I don’t reflect on how to be an awesome Mom. Trust me, I fail some days. Some days I am the reason my son is pouting and crying. I’m not perfect. I never will be. So for now, I’ll embrace the fact I can be one of those OK moms. The ones who get through the day, loving on my child unconditionally. He may say I am not his best friend once in awhile. He may say I’m not his favorite. But, I’m his Mom. I can toast to that!
To anyone who has lost a Mother or child, this day is still yours. Take a moment to yourself. Take a moment to reflect on how special you truly are. Take a moment to realize, you are doing OK and that is all you need to do! Perfection is overrated! So tell someone to grab you some Butter Chardonnay because they need to #ButterMomUp this Mother’s Day!
So this Mother’s Day I raise a glass of Butter Chardonnay up high and I toast to my Mom, I toast to myself for this roller coaster I call Mom life, and I toast to you! Every Mom and every daughter out there, that is doing the best you can to be the okayest version of yourself you can be!
Need to #ButterMomUp or even yourself? Find a store local to you that carries Butter Chardonnay.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
Author: Nichole Arnold
I’m the owner of Mommy Needs a Bottle . I’m a 30- something wine enthusiast that resides in Tampa, FL. I love family traditions, traveling, cooking, baking, reading, fashion, tattoos, beauty products, and being a Mommy! I have a background in marketing, public relations, copywriting, and sales.