You stink little one! You stink bad! More times than I can count in one day I am peeking in the edges of your little tiny poop catcher called a diaper wondering how bad it will be. Nothing! Are you kidding me? I smelled what was like a garage truck spilling in my room. I thought this one was going to be a doozy. The one you let rip at Joann’s today, we thought you were screaming because you had a little cozy warming ooze within the diaper! Nope! You are a chubby chunk monk farting machine! You are 14lbs of adorable gas!
Then you had to top yourself. There I was in the tub with you. You were in your cute little float. Dad was leaning over the tub to wash you up as you goofed off. You rolled yourself over and stuck your cute little booty in the air and let it rip! I saw those bubbles and it was cute at first…then the smell. How can something so tiny and small cause such a stink!
I find it funny that I hope you go number two. I feel it might make you feel better. I wonder how much gas one little dude can have. You never seem to be lacking the quality of most deadly farts. You even switch it up a bit! Silent and deadly, to try Daddy’s gag reflex. Cute toots with no stench, just to make us giggle. Either way…we better not act like it is cute as you get bigger or we will be in for some serious trouble. You already get a devious smile upon your face when you bite the nip while eating. This is without teeth!
So go ahead, lift your leg, stretch it out, and toot as much as you want while it’s cute. You stink but we love you.
Nose holding, giggling too much, Mommy & Daddy
Author: Nichole Arnold
I’m the owner of Mommy Needs a Bottle . I’m a 30- something wine enthusiast that resides in Tampa, FL. I love family traditions, traveling, cooking, baking, reading, fashion, tattoos, beauty products, and being a Mommy! I have a background in marketing, public relations, copywriting, and sales.